50 Shades of Sugoi
by InscribedBeauty
Summary: Homestuck AU. Loosely based off 50 Shades of Grey, BSDM themes ahead in later chapters. Written for Jonah and Brit. Kinda the first fanfic I've ever published, sooo yeah.
1. Chapter 1

It is seven in the morning and a loud, obnoxious beeping goes off, pulling you out of your deep slumber. Sleepily reaching over to the table beside you to turn it off, you sit up, opening your emerald green eyes as you take in the sunlight in a rather angry fashion. Swinging your feet over the edge of your bed, you clumsily reach for your thick framed glasses, slipping them onto your face where the rest on the bridge of your nose. It is mid-October and the air has a bit of a chill to it, sending a shiver up your bare back. "Golly, a shower would be wonderful right about now..." You murmur quietly to yourself, reaching up and running a hand through your tangled, raven black hair.

You get up, stumbling to your shower as you try to get your legs to work properly again, eyelids still heavy from sleep. You finally make your way into the bathroom, stripping out of your sleep pants and grabbing a towel before heading towards your shower, turning the hot water on. Once inside, you begin to relax as the hot water washes over your tense shoulders, down your slightly defined stomach, legs and finally feet before it rolls down into the drain along with your worries. Slipping your wide eyes closed, you relax completely, practically melting in the bliss from the heat. Opening your eyes again, realization hits you like a brick wall when you hear your room mate knock loudly on the door. "Jake!" He calls out, irritation heavy in his somewhat high voice. Letting out a sigh, you call back to him, your accent heavy on your words "I'll be out in a jiffy, John!" You hear a soft snort from the other side of the door and footsteps that fade slowly. You wash your hair quickly and hop out of the shower, wrapping a towel loosely around your hips.

Looking in the mirror, you sigh, noticing your slightly defined buck teeth. Rolling your eyes, you reach for your toothbrush, brushing your teeth before leaving the bathroom. You walk back to your bedroom, closing the door behind you as you walk over to your dresser, opening the drawers and pulling out your clothing for the day. You change into a striped, long sleeved dark green shirt and a loose pair of brown khaki shorts. Leaving your room you enter the kitchen, eyeing your room mate John, who is currently searching through the fridge. "So, what are the plans for today?" You ask as you sit at the table, propping your head up on your hand. With a simple shrug, John sits down across from you, his blue eyes lazy. "Oh, I thought maybe we could go to that new cafe err whatever." You nod in agreement, seeing as there isn't much else to do.

After John wakes up a bit, the two of you head out to the cafe, walking in silence as the leaves whip by in the breeze. As you enter the cafe, you notice all the workers are women in numerous cosplay costumes. A woman with long black hair and eyes as green as yours leads you to a table, handing the two of you a menu before walking off. Looking around the room, you study the women in the room, wondering why there are no male servers. As you look around you see a blonde haired man enter the cafe. Dark aviators cover his eyes as he looks down at an iphone, expression settled into a poker face. Looking away from him, you notice John staring. With your signature double pistols and a wink, you nudge him in the side with your elbow, murmuring so only he could hear "Thought you weren't a homosexual, ol' chap." which of course earned you a glare from John.


	2. Chapter 2

As you wait for your waitress to return, you and John make some idle chitchat, discussing your many upcoming assignments. He lists off potential business owners you could interview for an upcoming report, though none really catch your attention. You turn down each of his suggestions, causing him to scowl in frustration. You are about to apologize when you notice another blonde man enter the building. The man stops when he enters the doorway, turning his head, you assume he's studying the room, but cannot be sure. His eyes are hidden by a pair of pointy shades, and an enigmatic grin plays at his lips. Your eyes follow the direction his head moves, and you take in the theme of the fairly large cafe.

The colour theme is pale grey with an orange tint, and the decor is a nice, modern theme. High ceilings and swooping arches for doorways give the place a nice, brand new house kind of feel. You drag your attention back to where the man was, only to notice he's gone. A slight pout tugs at your lips, and your arms cross over your chest. You finally turn your gaze back to John, who happens to be grinning like an idiot. "What on earth is that grin for?" You cock an eyebrow, waiting a response. Instead of responding to your question, he just wiggles an eyebrow, turning his head when the waitress comes back to the table. "May I take your order?" She asks softly, giggling as she realizes she has startled you. After stammering like an idiot for half a minute, you place your order, letting out a sigh of relief as she walks away to inform the cook.

You absentmindedly watch as a few more waitresses walk by, one in particular catching your attention. Handcuffs jingle from her side, hanging just above the hem of her short skirt. Fishnet stockings cover her legs, and a police hat is placed atop her head. Shoulder length black hair is curled into spirals, and she turns her head, letting out a cackle before rushing to her next table. You continue to follow her with your eyes when you notice the blonde man is back. Your eyes travel up to his hair, which is styled and spiked with such precision you wonder just how long it must take. Eyes travelling downwards, you take in the rest of his outfit, tight white shirt pulled over a somewhat defined chest, tight fitting faded jeans, orange converse and black fingerless gloves.

Nearly jumping out of your seat when the waitress sets your plate infront of you, you hear her giggle. "I'm sorry sir! I didn't mean to startle you!" As you turn to look at her, you hear John snickering, and you kick him under the table as a warning. He sucks in a sharp breath and frowns, casting glares in your direction. "If you need anything, feel free to ask us!" She smiles cutely and walks off, her dress swishing loosely on her hips. Digging into your meal, your eyes drift back to the man again, and you scold yourself internally for staring.

After you finish your meal, you head to pay the bill, drumming your fingers against the counter in a broken rhythm. A woman with long, wavy hair that reaches to her waist walks behind the counter, winking at John as she runs her hands down her pinstripe dress, smoothing it out. You simply roll your eyes, paying and dragging a rather flustered John with you, eyeing the man again before you leave. He casts a glance in your direction and you flush, realizing he just caught you staring. Yanking John roughly along, you rush out the door, cheeks burning from embarrassment.

Being nice for the first time today, John decides not to mention the little scene you have just caused, instead, he makes a suggestion. "I think that man was the owner of the restaurant! Maybe you should interview him?" His voice is timid, almost afraid to rile you up. Instead you pat his back, letting out a loud laugh "Good idea, I'll just dilly on up and ask him!" You hope he can understand the sarcasm you are using, but by this point you can never be sure.

When you arrive back home, you consider John's suggestion as you lounge on the couch. _Perhaps he'd say yes?_ You think quietly to yourself, quickly shaking the thought from your heard and murmuring "Jake, you've gone absolutely looney by this point in time if you think that will happen."


End file.
